Isolation Blues

By Bobby, emailed contribution

4 facts about me:

1. I have a day job, but a month ago I found out they are eliminating our department. We sell things online and they are closing that part of the site because we can't compete with Amazon. So the end isn't here yet, but it's coming. And because we're not bringing new things into the warehouse, there isn't a lot of actual work to do. So I started working from home more. 

2. While I was working from home last week, they sent the email that many companies have been sending out, which is, "Don't come into the office, if you can help it." This is unrelated to the pending lay-off and is only due to the pandemic. And so now I'm paranoid that they will cut us off DURING the pandemic and then I'll be without income or health insurance during a time where we are isolating ourselves to see if we get sick or not. 

3. My side hustle is DJing. I DJ at two different bars and a few weddings a year. Having a second source of income is nice. But I have always been drawn to music, organizing music, selecting music, providing music for a crowd, even if it's not mine. I used to make mixtapes in the before times, and then CDs, and then Spotify playlists, to convey a certain mood or to document a specific period of my life.  This week I have watched in horror as all my friends' gigs dried up, and then yesterday they ordered all bars to stay closed. So my backup plan actually dried up before my primary hustle did. Which is scary. 

4. This is the context for my latest playlist. It's called "isolation blues," and while it won't cheer you up or make you feel better, it will accurately capture the vibe of what it is to be stuck in a room, either voluntarily or against your will. 

 https://open.spotify.com/playlist/78TdIiN7NQKZszJmSBHCrI?si=lgerg4vlSjuLSx81Ne-vWA 

It starts with Bon Iver's "Woods" which was sampled very memorably in a Kanye West song, but the original captures the feeling of solitude one might feel when reacquainting oneself with your inner thoughts.

It is quickly followed up with "We Will Become Silhouettes" by The Postal Service, which I had to play while making a "social distancing chili" because he literally says "I've got cupboards with cans of food, filtered water and pictures of you, and I'm not coming out until this is all over" which is my exact headspace right now. 

Other highlights include Fugazi's "Waiting Room" The Flaming Lips "Suddenly Everything Has Changed" and of course, The Beach Boys, "In My Room," the hermit's lament. Also, a few experimental tracks from Bowie's "Low" album since he was going through rehab for heroin during that time, and those tracks nail that vibe perfectly. 

I wanted to especially call out Carly Rae Jepsen's "Store" which is a polarizing song because it is lyrically very silly but the hook is addictive. She is daydreaming about leaving her partner, which can feel quite isolating, and the excuse she wants to give is "I'm just going to the store" when in fact she is leaving him. And of course, "Store" was in my head while I was stocking up for a week's worth of groceries... at the store. Also, in the ongoing meme of handwashing instructions, interspersing different hilarious lyrics as the captions,  "Store" has become the song I sing when I wash my hands. If you sing the chorus three times while rubbing your soapy hands together, all viruses will die, and you can rinse their evil corpses down the drain. 

I am pretty happy with this playlist, and while it might not get my mind off of the pandemic, it makes me feel understood.